


Broom

by Doctor_Who_Cares



Series: Oh, Voldemort! [3]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, Gen, Humor, general silliness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-19
Updated: 2018-02-19
Packaged: 2019-03-21 11:43:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13740156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Doctor_Who_Cares/pseuds/Doctor_Who_Cares
Summary: Voldemort never got round to learning to fly a broom...





	Broom

Voldemort and Severus were standing out in a field waiting for Lucius to show up. He apparated next to them suddenly.

"I am here my Lord and I brought it. It's Draco’s old one from when he was just a child."

"Give it here." The Dark Lord snatched it from him. "No one can know about this. _Ever_. Understand?"

"Of course, my Lord." Severus and Lucius replied in unison.

"How do I... start?"

"Lie it down on the floor." Severus told him carefully, and watched as he followed the instructions.

"Now what?"

"Now just say ‘ _U_ _p_ ’ and climb on." Lucius explained.

"Up." Nothing happened. "It's _faulty_." He crossed his arms.

"Sometimes it takes a few tries." Lucius encouraged, remembering this same conversation with a four year old Draco.

"UP!" It twitched but did nothing else. Severus fought the urge to roll his eyes.

" _Up_." Finally it was up, hovering barely two feet from the ground. "I _told_ you it was faulty."

"This is as high as this one goes my Lord."

"Oh."

"Would you like to get on now, my Lord?" Severus asked, wanting to get this over and done with. Teaching a seventy year old man how to ride a broom wasn't high on his list of things he wanted to do with his Sunday.

"What if it throws me off?" He asked, apprehensively.

"Don't worry my Lord, I will hold it steady." Lucius replied, grabbing the broom.

"You promise not to let go?"

"Of course, my Lord."

Voldemort climbed on, his feet still clearly touching the floor.

"Your feet go here, my Lord." Severus pointed. "And remember to hold on." Voldemort nodded, looking terrified. After a minute or so of just hovering he looked at Lucius.

"How do I move it?"

"You just lean."

Voldemort tried leaning forward slightly - it jolted forward and he pulled back quickly. "Don't let go."

"I'm not going to let go." He tried again, starting to get the hang of it.

Lucius let go once he'd really gotten into it, the same way he taught Draco. He probably should have remembered what happened with him. After swearing to never trust him again Draco, who had no idea how to stop the thing, had flown straight into a fence.

"My Lord, you are doing it on your own."

Voldemort looked back. "Merlin!" He clung to the broom petrified. "You _promised_ you traitor! _Crucio_!" He hissed, casting at him with still no clear idea of how to stop, slow down or get off.

Lucius groaned, dropping to the floor. Severus laughed at the scene in front of him.

"You _did_ promise not to let go." He looked down at Lucius. He reached out, easily catching the broom. "Are you sure you want to get off my Lord... you were doing exceptionally well!"


End file.
